I stepped back from posting when I realized just how much I dreaded updating my journal. I'd open the dashboard, pull up a new post and sit there, chewing my lip, my guts twisting. What the hell am I going to post about today? I'd think. The whole motivation behind this blog got mixed up with a business-minded attitude about myself and my writing. Instead of journaling about my life as a writer, I was building my "platform" in the most efficient way I could think of.
Which was what undid me, I think. Efficiency sucks. Ha, no... don't look at me like that. It sucks the creativity out of my brain. It turns music into numbers and poetry into words on a page. This stopped being my journal and started being an ongoing resume... every time I posted, I'd wonder what a potential agent or editor's opinion would be of the entry. If I was putting the right words out there. The right thoughts. The right face - that is, the face of the next published horror writer! Cue the trumpets.
Well... sorry, screw that, guys. The nature of art has nothing to do with business. I could go at this concept all soapbox-style, but you I'm sure you know what I mean.
I want to record my journey as a writer, from the small place I'm in now to the vast undiscovered country of the future. How my process works. Current projects. Learning about myself and my craft. This life experience from my little corner of the writers' universe. I took the last month to figure out why I never wanted to post anymore, and I've realized I can't turn this into a business in my brain. I have to just live my life and tell my stories. Everything else will follow along.
Hopefully you will, too. Come back soon.
P.S. I was Raoul Duke (Hunter Thompson) from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas for Halloween. Picture above. I rocked it. That is all.
4 comments:
If you approach it as promotion, it soon becomes a burden and not as fun to those who visit, either. I watch writers and authors blog about platform-promo-book-platform until that's all they talk about. And yet I've seen plenty who stay true to themselves, blog about their passions, and grow like wildfire. Just blog about the joy, B!
i think we all have moments of crisis with our blogs. The key is to find a balance you can live with. Then it's easier
You've totally nailed why I am insane in my blogging... it has to be fun and 'release' or I could NEVER keep it up. I HAVE a day job (as you do) where i need to be marginally professional at least part of the time--I just couldn't add a jobbishness on top of that... and honestly? Being honestly ME? Sure, I frighten off a fair few, but i think I've also managed to break through--nobody who reads me confuses me with anyone else they read... so I've got that going for me *snort* It is yet to be see whether being the Naked Chick is compatible with book sales, but at least I'm enjoying the ride.
You can only be you; when we try to tidy up our art form, it takes the creative edge out. It becomes a performance gig. Post whatever you want it is your voice, your blog!
I think we all go through this; I submitted some art work and felt like
"those people" might be watching. It
zapped me a bit! Now get back to your regular scheduled program, will ya! lol Looks like Halloween was fun!
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